Soteriophobia is the persistent and abnormal fear of dependence on others.
It's normal to fear having to put your full dependence on someone else. Those who have chronic illness' often feel this way. When this fear becomes over-exaggerated Soteriophobia sets in. They fear something that hasn't even happened yet for the sole reason that it could happen.
If you suffer from Soteriophobia please share your story. What triggered it and how does it affect your life?
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I have Soteriophobia. I guess it was triggered since way back. I was an abortion baby. My mother almost got me aborted had it not been for my aunt who insisted that my mum push through with the pregnancy and that she will take me from her and raise me as her own. Even so, my aunt still taught me how to love my mother. She never told me that she (my aunt) was my real mother, that my real mother is somewhere else just waiting for me. I was rejected every single time by my mother every time I showed affection. During one of my visits to my real mother, my aunt got very sick and my mother prevented me from seeing her. She died a year after I left and I was never the same. My uncle committed suicide month after my aunt's death, and that's when things got worse for me. I started holding back on starting relationships with other people, believing I can do everything by myself because it has always been that way, because I had been left behind by people who cared for me and was left with 4 people who hate me. I could never trust them, and it just moved on to trust issues with other people. I always fear the thought of depending on others, especially with myself, because I feel like they would eventually leave even if they show nothing that would mean that.
I am currently in an 8-month old relationship with the most wonderful woman in the world. But things get so messed up between us because of my insane fear, and has constantly lead to us fighting because I always accuse her of cheating on me even when I don't really have the reason to. I am destroying our relationships, and I know the fear is shallow and must go away, but I can't help but be so paranoid about it. I find it difficult to leave everything up to someone or something else. I just feel like I have to take control over everything, even with how things are supposed to turn out. And the thought of leaving everything up to chance makes me so anxious and sweaty and afraid. I really want this to go away...
I had a break up wid my gf nd since then i fl uncomfortable and have totally lost the feeling of love in the fear of being cheated. Although i fl alone,i dnt want any company nw. I hav become reserved and anxiety surrounds me all d tym.
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